


Holding a Heart

by Zillabird



Series: The Moon, the Sun, and the Truth [2]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Canonical Character Death, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Pack Dynamics, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-18 22:48:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5946202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zillabird/pseuds/Zillabird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason Todd dies and leaves his werewolf pack grieving. Bruce and Dick turn to each other to drown their sorrows, but it won't last for long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding a Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taewho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taewho/gifts).



There was a dead teenager lying in a warehouse in Ethiopia. Not much left of him after the explosion which lit up the night sky for miles around. It was grotesque, graphic. His broken, beaten body had been halfway through the change when time ran out and it left him with claws and spotty patches of fur. His face was still entirely human and even with all the burns and blood caked onto his skin and hair, two bright blue eyes stared out unseeing.

A large, black wolf raced across the desert, paws struggling not to sink into the cool sands of the dunes. He panted, knowing that the burning ruins before him would have left no survivors but still chasing the hope that miracles really did exist.

More than anyone, Bruce should have known that wasn’t the case.

Sand faded to asphalt and asphalt faded to the cement foundation that was honestly the only thing really left standing of the explosion. Nails clicked and would have made some noise if not for the flames still roaring nearby. His nose led him. The thick scent of blood in the air and, beneath that, the familiar scent of pack.

Bruce’s pack.

He whimpered, the sound breaking out of his throat before he could stop it, as he nosed the dead body of the teen lying there. Of course there was no response. Of course.

It built up in his chest, growing and growing until his lungs felt like they would explode. His head tipped back and he howled up at the moon glowing like a bright beacon over the desert sands. It broke above the roar of the fire and filled the night air, a cry of pain for his loss.

~~~

Bruce was in the cave below the house and Dick stood silently on the steps for seconds, minutes, watching the man pound a rhythm against a punching bag. Even from his place on the stairs, the exhaustion was obvious. It dragged his eyes down and pushed heavy on his shoulders. It clung to his skin in the form of salty beads of sweat that drenched his tank top to the point it stuck to his skin.

It nestled in Dick’s chest where his pack bonds were, forcing him to feel the wholeness of Bruce’s emotions because his alpha was in pain.

So much pain.

“What are you doing here?” Bruce demanded. He didn’t break his rhythm and Dick hadn’t seen his eyes go to the stairs.

Dick hesitated and then continued his descent, not speaking until his foot hit the stone of the cave floor. “I felt him die, Bruce.”

“So?” Bruce asked.

So? It had felt like he’d been gutted. It had shattered his heart. The universe had violently scooped out the part of Jason inside of Dick and Dick had felt every second of the pain. It had brought him to his knees, hand over his chest, and put tears in his eyes. It had forced him into a change that he’d barely kept private, ripped his human form from him so that he could feel it all the more stronger as a wolf.

Jason Todd had died and Dick had thought for a moment that he was going to die with him.

“So?” Dick repeated. “So he was our pack. He died and we weren’t there to protect him. I felt him die, Bruce. Don’t shut me out. I _need_ my alpha now.”

“ _You_ weren’t there to protect him!” Bruce shouted, finally turning to face him. Rage etched into lines on his face, into red in his cheeks. “ _You_ failed him. I did everything I could to get to him on time.”

Dick pulled back, eyes widening in disbelief. In pain. Dick was hurting. Dick had felt his pack die. Dick had suffered through that once as a child and to have to live through it again…

Dick felt like a failure. He felt like he should have been there. Dick needed Bruce to tell him Dick was wrong for feeling this way. He needed his pack alpha.

His pack alpha growled at him. “Get out.”

Dick couldn’t move his feet. “Bruce, please-“

“Get out!” Bruce shouted.

It wasn’t that simple. Bruce was all the pack Dick had left. Instead of running, like his head wanted to, he stepped forward, like his heart wanted to. He walked across the cave floor and stood beside Bruce.

“I thought I told you to get out,” Bruce said.

“I can’t,” Dick said. “Please. We lost him but-“

A fist connected with Dick’s face, pain blossoming from the point of connection, and it snapped to the side. Dick covered it with his hand.

“I lost him, Dick. You were never around enough to have lost a damn thing,” Bruce said.

The words struck him, curling up like shadows around his heart. He’d failed Jason. He knew it, his alpha knew it. Dick looked away. “I should have been around more.”

“Yes, you should have,” Bruce said. His voice was hoarse, holding back tears. Dick didn’t think he’d ever seen the man cry. “If you had stayed, he wouldn’t have died.”

Because Bruce would never have bitten Jason.

“I’m sorry, Bruce,” Dick said. There was still a throb, the ripped up pack bond healing in him.

“We lost him,” Bruce whispered. Dick reached out, hand cupping Bruce’s cheek. Tension was something he could feel, straight down to the way Bruce almost seemed to shake under his hand. Bruce’s hand wrapped around Dick’s wrist. “What are you doing?”

Unlike Bruce, unlike Jason, unlike most of the wolves in Gotham, Dick found his human form a constant struggle. There were rules, in this form, that he’d never been raised with. As long as he could remember, he’d spent at least half of his time as a wolf. That’s how born wolves were raised.

Bruce treated the wolf as a weapon, only turned when he needed to. Dick had learned how to speak in motion, in action, in wolf before he’d ever learned how to be a human.

“Just… let me,” Dick said. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to Bruce’s. He tasted like salt, leftover from his exercise most likely, and he didn’t push Dick away. That was enough of permission for Dick to press in closer. Their chests came together and Dick used his lips to guide Bruce’s mouth open.

A brief second of breaths intermingling, lips touching, and then Bruce shoved him away. “Stop, Dick.”

Dick didn’t understand. He could feel Bruce opening to this, feel him finding pleasure in it. “What?”

“Don’t play stupid. This is wrong,” Bruce said.

How could anything that felt so natural be wrong?

“Only to _you_ ,” Dick said. They’d had this argument before. Dick had brought it up, shortly before leaving for Blüdhaven, and Bruce had shot him down then too. “It’s normal for alphas to mate, Bruce.”

“Not with… not with you,” Bruce said.

“Because I’m male?” Dick asked.

“Because you’re family,” Bruce said.

Dick couldn’t understand that. “Of course I’m family.” That was the point. “I love you.”

“Stop,” Bruce said.

“You love me,” Dick said.

“Stop, Dick!” Bruce shouted.

Dick reached up, wrapping his arms around Bruce’s neck. He pulled him into another kiss, felt the press of lips in that perfect way. Dick didn’t want another set of lips to touch him again because the alpha’s were perfect.

Bruce shoved him away again. “No.”

Dick caught the anger in Bruce’s eyes. He was so hard to read. His eyes, his face, they screamed that Dick had messed up but Dick knew that Bruce’s body had felt good. He knew that the man had enjoyed it, been able to feel it through the bond.

He _knew_ Bruce loved him too.

Still, Dick tilted his head back. Baring his neck. Submitting to please the alpha. Actions that came natural to him but seemed to only incite Bruce even further.

Hands wrapped around his upper arms, squeezing Dick. “You’re letting the wolf control you, Dick.”

“The wolf is me,” Dick said.

Bruce looked sufficiently chastised.

“I just want to make it hurt less,” Dick said. For both of them.

“This isn’t the answer,” Bruce said.

It wasn’t? When a pack lost a member, the pack grew closer. The sacrificed wolf became a reminder why it was so important to be close to your pack. It wasn’t unheard of for mates to be taken not long after the death of a pack member. Dick couldn’t understand why Bruce would want to push him away, why they had to fight now of all times. He leaned forward once more, kissed Bruce again, and felt something shift in the other man.

The hands around his arms tightened but Bruce didn’t push him away. His muscles shook with the held back instinct to put distance between them but Bruce never broke the kiss. Finally, one hand let go of one of Dick’s arms and snuck into the small hairs at the back of Dick’s neck. Dick used his now free arm to cup Bruce’s cheek again. Unchecked stubble rubbed against his palm and Dick was sure he felt wetness on the man’s cheeks.

“This is wrong,” Bruce said again, mumbling the words against his lips.

“We lost him, Bruce. This is the only thing that’s right,” Dick replied.

Bruce backed him up and then lifted him off the ground, giving Dick the silent encouragement to wrap his legs around Bruce’s waist. He did, digging his heels into the man’s lower back, and moved for another kiss. Bruce didn’t fight it this time, opened his mouth to lock over Dick’s. Tongues slid against each other. It was softer than Dick had ever imagined. Bruce was so rough, so strong, and so brash all the time. In the moment, he held Dick like he was something breakable. Something precious.

There was a hand at Dick’s neck to keep some of his weight supported and the other was down at Dick’s back. The fingers there dipped under the hem of his shirt and pulled up. Dick away from the kiss long enough to let Bruce strip him of his shirt and throw it to the wayside. Calloused fingers brushed over Dick’s stomach, back, and chest. They followed the ridges of scars until they tapered off into smooth flesh once more.

Dick’s alpha must have had a better idea of where he was going than Dick did because Dick’s back hit the wall, cool enough to have him arching away and into Bruce. Bruce splayed a hand over his chest and pushed him back against the wall once more, gently keeping him in place, and chased another kiss. Dick reached down, pulling up on Bruce’s shirt and baring the inches of golden, taut skin there. He skimmed his fingers over, savoring the moment that he’d been dreaming about for years.

“So beautiful.” It was the words in Dick’s head as he looked at his alpha but they came from Bruce’s lips as a pair of familiar blue eyes watched him.

Dick bumped their cheeks together, a gentle nudge before he moved his lips to Bruce’s neck and kissed the pulse there. Bruce used his body to pin Dick in place, letting go with his hands so he could undo the button of Dick’s pants. Dick busied himself with moving his lips down to Bruce’s collarbone, applying harsher kisses there where the marks wouldn’t be visible to anyone else.

“Tilt your hips, Dick,” Bruce ordered. He did, leaning more against the wall to cant his hips and let Bruce yank the pants down his hips. It was a challenge, but the two managed to move enough to discard the pants in the same manner as the shirt. Dick was fairly certain he only heard material tear once. Dick was bare under his jeans, never growing accustomed to the never ending layers of clothing humans put themselves in. Bruce made a noise in the back of his throat at the realization but didn’t say anything, choosing instead to wrap his hand around Dick’s cock and pump him once, twice, at three times Dick’s lips opened in a gasp and Bruce covered his mouth with his own once more.

Dick’s hips jerked, searching for more of that feeling. “Settle, Dick. Patience.”

Dick whined, grabbing Bruce’s shoulders and squeezing like it would hold him still. In a way, it did. He could look into Bruce’s eyes like this, could watch blue eyes with so much focus. All on him.

Bruce was in sweatpants to train so it was as simple as pulling free of them. The hand left Dick’s cock and instead went to his mouth, pressing three fingers into his mouth. Dick didn’t need the following order to suck, knowing what Bruce wanted by the look in his eyes and the bond in his chest. He dragged his tongue over the fingers, slipping it into the space between them, and left them spit wet and lubricated before Bruce pulled them out of his mouth.

“Have you ever done this before?” Bruce asked.

Dick shook his head. Not before his alpha, never before the man he loved.

“It’s going to hurt,” Bruce said.

Worth it.

A wet, warm finger pressed against Dick without pushing in. “Breathe in. Hold it. Exhale.”

The air rushed between his lips and Dick felt the finger slide in during the resulting relaxation of his body. It didn’t hurt, even when Bruce moved it back and forth to ease the way for what was coming later. Another finger and Dick’s breathe caught, the stretching sensation one that Dick knew he could learn to enjoy. Much like the burn in your legs after running.

“So goddamn beautiful,” Bruce said, once again paralleling the words in Dick’s head.

Another finger and Dick had to pull Bruce lower, had to suck on his bottom lip and tangle their tongues together once more. Those perfect, thick fingers brushed against something inside of him and he trembled in Bruce’s hands. It wasn’t quite enough, just a taste, but it was more than Dick had ever thought he’d get from this.

A groan slipped out which Bruce only encouraged when he sucked on Dick’s neck. Hard, bruising. There would be marks on Dick’s skin there later.

“Hold on, Dick,” Bruce whispered. The fingers were pulled out and Bruce replaced them at his hole with the thicker press of his cock. Bruce had to hold Dick’s hips to keep him steady to breach him, sliding a few amazing inches inside and then rutting with muffled grunts to bottom out.

They panted in unison, breathing like one being. It felt natural, like things were finally falling into place. It was the only noise between them for a moment, Bruce stilled inside of him and eyes flickering over Dick’s face. Dick nodded, a single nod, and Bruce slowly pulled out only to push back in again.

Bruce was wrong. It didn’t hurt. There was a burn, slow and stretched, that Dick was falling in love with. If this is what being with him felt like, Dick wanted that burn to never end.

Bruce’s hands were everywhere. Dick felt them on his chest, his ass, and then his hips again and that’s when Bruce would brush his thumb over Dick’s hipbones. And every touch of skin against skin, coupled with the thrusts building in speed, had little noises breaking past Dick’s lips. Grunts and moans and gasps like Dick couldn’t keep quiet about any of it.

It built, growing like a heated pool in his groin, and Bruce moved his hand down to Dick’s cock. He never reached it. Dick grabbed Bruce’s wrist, shaking his head, and put the man’s hand back on his hips.

Dick wanted to orgasm from this, with the only feeling being Bruce taking him here.

Bruce seemed to understand without words, a pained expression on his face. Dick couldn’t decipher the emotion, just knew Bruce felt overwhelmed and he was overwhelmed because of Dick.

 _Dick_ made his alpha feel this way.

“Dick, I’m…” Bruce trailed off, hands finding a singular purchase on his hips and gripping tight enough to leave bruises. “So close.”

Dick pulled Bruce forward, driving his tongue into the man’s mouth. One more kiss. It was enough to push Dick over, the heat climaxing and then Dick was coming all over Bruce’s chest. His body shook, tensed, and Bruce grunted at the feeling of Dick squeezing him inside before following him over the edge.

It was a delicious warm, wet feeling inside of him and Dick’s body relaxed even further. Please, satisfied. Content.

When Dick woke up, he couldn’t really remember how they’d ended up here. Bruce’s room, Dick recognized the sheets. The warmth of a body beside him was nice and Dick curled into it more. His finger traced muscle definition, felt the stickiness of sweat and something else.

“You’re awake,” Bruce said.

Dick hadn’t even realized he was awake. He looked up, meeting those beautiful blue eyes of his alpha.

Bruce pressed a hand to Dick’s shoulder. A silent order to untangle himself from the man. Dick tried not to be hurt.

“What’s wrong?” Dick asked, moving back.

Bruce covered him up with a sheet. “This was a mistake.”

Dick’s lips parted. “I… what?”

Bruce averted his eyes and Dick almost moved to still be in his sight. “I shouldn’t have done that. Last night was a mistake.”

“But-“ Dick started.

“I think you should leave, Dick,” Bruce said softly.

Dick didn’t want to leave. What had he done wrong?

“I love you,” Dick said.

“Stop,” Bruce whispered.

Dick climbed out of the bed, feeling like he should be running away. He ripped through Bruce’s closet and pulled clothes that didn’t belong to him over his bare body. “I love you.”

“Stop.”

“And you love me,” Dick said.

Bruce’s face lost expression, turning cold as stone. “Not like this.”

Dick’s hand curled around the handle of Bruce’s bedroom door. “Exactly who are you trying to convince?”

The door slammed shut behind him.


End file.
